Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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