no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
