i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I had to cum in my sink.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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