well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
