Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Randomize
