i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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