Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
