Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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