Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
