It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
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There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
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If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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