just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
