She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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