Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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