Apparently you make a good broom.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Then you guys just all showered together...?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
