Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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