Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
