Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
