Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
