He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
