just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
