my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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