My nipple is on Facebook.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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