her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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