haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My penis needs a shock collar
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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