How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize