You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Randomize
