just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
