so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
only if we run a train.
done.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
