I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
