i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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