Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
