Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
and she was petting her beer can
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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