If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
