Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
