in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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