with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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