How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
