Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
