yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize
