I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
