Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize