Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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