watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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