I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
