It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
