drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
