$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
