Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
