i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
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So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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