you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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