My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
