I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
