drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
false alarm, still single
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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