I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
