I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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