I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
