I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
