hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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