I didn't shave. On purpose
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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