It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It happened again.
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to