I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
There r osticjed everywhere
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?