She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
i am craving dick and cupcakes