If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.