Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.