remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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