uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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