It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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