This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
