I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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